From Pride to Grace
I was diagnosed with a rare degenerative bone and joint disease when I was about 11 years old. The prognosis for my adult life was not very optimistic. The doctors at Orthopedic Hospital in Los Angeles, California believed that I would be wheel chair bound before I could ever graduate from college. Family members believed there was no need for me to get a college education since I would probably end up on welfare anyway. I was determined to prove them wrong by working my way through college despite my handicap. About two years after graduating from college, I began experiencing a strange weakness in my right leg. Two lumbar vertebrae were collapsed and pinched the nerve controlling movement in my legs. I had surgery on my back later that day and was bedridden for 4 months. I was completely helpless and dependent on others. What a terrible blow to my pride and my sense of self-sufficiency. I was a terrible patient and resented those who cared for me. After two years my life began to return to normal and remained that way for 20 years. During those 20 years I enjoyed great success traveling all over the world. I met a beautiful woman in Indonesia who became my wife. We had three healthy children. Eventually, I began having problems with my joints again and needed knee replacement surgery. Unfortunately, my pride got in the way again. I had a loving, sensitive wife who could not understand why I was rejecting her help. Even when I would accept her help I always had some way of putting her down and making her feel bad in some twisted way of boosting my own ego. She had never seen that ugly side of me and it almost wrecked our marriage.A couple of years after that knee-replacement surgery my 7-year-old daughter wanted me to go with her to church. I decided to go for her sake even though I was less than enthusiastic. I was completely surprised. They genuinely cared for my family and me. This experience made me want to learn more about Jesus so I actually began studying the Bible. I came to understand what grace was all about. Grace was not something which I could earn or deserve but was actually a free gift – something I could accept or reject. My pride and my sense of self-sufficiency had kept me from receiving this gift for so many years. I eagerly accepted God’s gift of salvation and prayed that He would change my heart.An interesting thing about grace is what makes it so valuable: the fact that it is freely given. Another interesting aspect is that for an act of grace to be complete, it must be accepted. When I accepted God’s gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, He was glorified. When my wife so graciously cared for me after knee-replacement surgery, I needed to humbly accept her help. By rejecting her gracious care I denied her the blessing she deserved. Sometimes those of us who need the help of others need to show a little more humility and a little less pride so that those who care for us can receive the blessings they deserve.Now, 10 years since my left knee was replaced, I recently had my right knee replaced. God has humbled me and made me see the wonderful gifts He has blessed me with in my wife and children. I have prayed for complete healing but God has chosen to keep me humble and to answer me in the same way He answered the Apostle Paul when he asked three times for the “thorn” to be removed from his flesh. God’s grace is sufficient. And to that I say “Amen”.